On a regular visit to a grocery store we saw a demanding child screaming for some toy, my friend immediately announced that the ill mannered child doesn’t know how to behave and his parents can’t handle him. How often do you face somewhat similar situation wherein you see children in parks, malls, schools and neighborhood and you are always ready to pour your biases and laden the young shoulders with your judgments. Have we ever thought about why the child is doing it or what could be the possible reason of such behavior.
Similarly children too have reasons for their behavior. I am not a child psychologist but as a teacher over the years I have observed that these could be the some of the reasons for behavioural deviations in children-
Why Children hit or bite– Most rampant problem amongst children, some hyper mothers even refrain their children from playing with their friends. Hitting is no big deal for a child, he can do it simply because he is not articulate enough to express himself through words and hitting instantly gives him control of any situation. That’s the reason young children are often seen hitting and biting their friends. Jealousy, possessiveness or overstimulation (from TV or battery operated toys) could be other reasons.
If you see a Child lying often please do not tag him as a cheater, liar or trickster. There was a student in my class who had a habit of picking up things from class. One fine day, we found 28 pencils in her school bag. Rather than humiliating her in front of everybody, we took this as a discussion topic with everyone. After a couple of days, she herself came to me and returned the pencils. So aggression, scolding or whacking doesn’t help.
Mothers often whine that their children answer back and do just the opposite of what is being said- A simple reason could be that the child is screaming for attention and he is very disturbed within. I once had a student, the girl was very bright but she had her own ways of doing things. Her behavior was very disruptive in the class, after several meetings with parents we understood that her father was in a traveling job and mother had a very simple way of disciplining her at home- hitting. So the bar was set for her, she did not listen to anything said to her until she was hit and made to do. Sad but true!
An introvert child prefers not to socialize and loves to stay in his own cocoon, who knows what trauma he is undergoing at home as he may be a victim of domestic violence or child abuse. Non cordial relationship among parents can also lead to coyness in children.
A child is meant to behave like a child, expecting perfect behaviour from children is an unrealistic and immature expectation.
So next time don’t be quick to label or tag any child. Just stop, sit back and think- There is definitely a reason behind it! Only love can heal the scars.