It is an emotional feeling when parents get a chance to see their baby during ultrasound scans. A friend shared that her husband was teary eyed and got butterflies in the stomach when he saw a topsy turvy baby floating inside the tummy. Expecting parents experience a unique bond with the unborn baby and eagerly wait for the baby to arrive. Some husbands happily attend the ante natal classes with their pregnant wives.
In most of the cases, the enthusiasm fizzles out a few days after the baby is born. First time parents find it challenging to adjust to new routine where everything revolves around the baby. This stress takes a toll on their relationship also.
Here are 3 easy tips for new fathers to take care of new moms–
Understand– A woman’s body undergoes tremendous change since the beginning of pregnancy. Nurturing a human life inside her body is nothing short of a feat. It is physically and mentally enervating. Women undergo post partum depression, mood swings and hormonal changes after delivering the baby. You will see your wife go crazy and behave like a zombie at times. Understand her condition! Imagine how miserable you will feel if you put on 15-18 Kgs of weight in a span of few months and nothing in your wardrobe fits you. I felt awful and ugly in that phase. Understand that she does not like surrounded by relatives all the time, understand her need for personal space, don’t mind if 8 out of 10 times she declines your offer to go for an outing. She is a new mom, things have changed tremendously for her..and she has changed too. When she wants to go to bed it means she needs sleep and nothing else interests her. Understand and respect!
‘’Understand that everything will fall into place, it’s just a matter of time.’’
Appreciate– Your few words of appreciation can act like a soothing balm for your wife. Appreciate her efforts as it enlivens her weary soul. Avoid complaining that her attitude towards you has changed or she is not giving you enough time. She is already juggling between massaging, bathing, feeding, putting the baby to sleep which leaves no time for herself also. A woman’s confidence plummets during the post partum phase. Her saggy skin, unkempt looks, dark under eye circles make her feel miserable. You will be surprised to see that few words can infuse sudden energy into her. Appreciate how well she is managing the new born baby, appreciate how motherhood has made her look more beautiful, appreciate that she has given you a gift in the form of tiny life after nurturing it for nine months in her womb. Appreciate and you will see that she will love you more than before!
‘’Appreciate her efforts and reassure her with your kind words’’
Support- Taking care of new mom and infant doesn’t end with doctor visits. Offer help and give her ample rest. She also needs breaks, so call your parents or family members to baby sit and take good care of the infant. Meanwhile take her for a refreshing outing or shop for her. Shopping is good to lift up a new mom’s spirits. Keep those relatives at bay who are always ready to pour unsolicited advice on her. Contradictions between a doctor’s advice and that of family members are very stressful. It can result in clashes too. Also a new dad can best support a new mom by learning the art of baby rearing. It is very comforting for mommy to know that she has someone to fall back upon. Gone are the days when babies were the sole responsibilities of moms. With changing lifestyle, nuclear families and both parents working, fathers proactively share the responsibilities of bringing up a child.
Whatever you do to her at this time, will leave a lasting impression for life time on her heart!
Have a happy family life ahead!
(Whether you like, dislike, agree or disagree with my views, please share your thoughts in the comment box below. I would love to know your ideas on the topic )