As per the cultural norm, we visited a friend’s house on the auspicious occasion of Diwali to meet and greet them. My husband was relishing the traditional Indian delicacies while we were trying to strike a conversation with each other. Now, my friend’s husband (let’s name him Mr. X) was hooked to his phone while enjoying the food, he was totally oblivious to what was happening around him. Mr. X was sitting right in front of us but he barely looked at us as his gaze was fixed on his phone. We could notice a change in his facial expressions every time the tiny light on top of the phone blinked. It is needless to say that we felt very cramped and awkward.
Many of us have friends, husbands or men around us who suffer from this gadget syndrome. They always need a phone in their hand while eating, talking….wait, the list doesn’t end here. Please add that men can also be hooked to their phone while driving or attending to nature’s call. I won’t be surprised if a man gets confused between the flush, soap and the tiny gadget one odd day in the toilet. Men are so immersed in digital worlds that they prioritize their virtual lives.
Do you also look forward for the weekend to arrive so that you can spend some time with your husband but your husband is busy texting, Whatsapping and Facebooking on his phone. Is social media frenzy and gadget addiction pulling out the love from your life? You will be happy to know that you are not alone, women often see married life as mundane and complain about the missing spark from their relationships. In most of the cases, smart phones are to be blamed for the missing spark.
‘Technology is a good servant and a bad master’ this adage suits the current scenario so aptly. It is ironical that technology has bridged the gaps across the globe and at the same time drifted apart close relationships.
Now, issue is what to do, how to uproot and throw the gadget out of your life and reclaim your lost position back. Here are a few pointers which might help all women to restore their status in the house-
- Look for long term solutions which can be followed and repeated every day. Hiding the battery charger and pretending that it’s lost is not going to help. The solution should not lead to another argument, always remember that you want to improve your relationship and stay closer to your husband.
- Encourage your husband to pursue a hobby – He might be a sports freak, movie buff, book lover or gadget freak. Provide interesting substitutes to his phone, like you can buy him a racket if he loves playing tennis, order a nice novel if he enjoys science fiction, if he is fond of cars then buy him an annual subscription of auto magazine, buy a bicycle if he is a nature lover and outgoing person. You have to motivate him to pursue his hobby so that he gradually weans off his mobile, but do not let him know about your intentions.
- Pep up your life– Add a surprise element to your everyday life-dress up unusual (if you do not wear a lipstick then a bright lipstick is enough to change your look)or cook or order food of his choice. Do something which will pleasantly surprise him. When he will see that you are showering extra attention on him then he will also respond in the same manner.
- No gadget zones– meal times, bed rooms, cars (except when you are using GPS or trying to find a location) should be no gadget zones. These times should be utilised to bond with the family.
- Face to face communication – don’t think that he will understand everything without you speaking up. Open communication is very important, you can talk to your husband about the controlled usage of mobile phone once he is back to home. Do not try and discuss important issues over phone, always connect face to face.
- Involve kids– This might work in some cases or can also annoy men. If your children can leave an impact then try to involve them in following ‘No gadget zones’ rule. Children can gently remind adults that phones are not allowed during meal times or in cars.
- Live in the present moment– We are glued to our phones while shopping, talking, eating or walking, phones form a constant landscape in our lives. If we start enjoying the activity which we are doing then our lives will be more sorted and relaxed. Rather than clicking a selfie in new place one visits, one can enjoy the whole experience by living that moment.
Like each handset comes with a unique manual similarly each husband has to be handled in a different manner. So you have to customise unique ways to handle your hubby, you can pick any of the above, experiment with new ways or explore more devilish ways- the choice is yours! Afterall , the user knows his gadget best
Whether you like, dislike, agree, disagree, share your views in the comment box below. I would love to know your thoughts on this topic, may be you have better ideas than what I have mentioned above.