”Follies of a doting mommy”
It starts from conceiving a new life within you and goes on with you till your last breath. Yes, that’s how we mommies are. We devote our entire lives to nurture our little beings. Mothers feel attached to the baby in the womb even before the baby arrives in this outside world. We undergo plethora of emotions during our entire lives-cherishing some moments, rejoicing memories, cribbing about our tedious job, yelling at everyone, feeling crazy, going on a guilt trip, smiling while tears are rolling down our cheeks….we have it all. As mothers we have our own shares of ups and downs through our entire life. Life is like a kaleidoscope of emotions for us which keeps on changing the colours every time we move it. In these dynamic emotions one thing is always constant- our love for our child. So the title of this post doesn’t hold true- there is nothing called a monster mom.
We have well being of our child in our heart even while rebuking the child. But sometimes unknowingly we become unfair on children and over react to situations which could have been handled with poise. We can observe these mistakes as a third person when others do it but we often overlook the same emotions displayed by ourselves. Each mom does what is best for her child but unconsciously does something which hampers the emotional well being of the child. There are moments during the day when the angelic halo is overpowered by monster horns.
These are common follies which mommies commit unintentionally. Let’s keep these things in mind-
- Mommies tend to get so engaged in daily chores that they spend less time with children. The only time some moms spend with children is while getting the homework done or feeding them. Cooking, housekeeping, laundry, office work etcetera will keep on happening but these childhood years, which are a repository of memories, will never recur.
So learn to prioritize what is more important. Work can be delegated or outsourced but these treasured years won’t wait for you. At the end of the day we should not forget that all our efforts are directed towards growth and development of our child. So it should be given utmost importance.
- Children should not be soft target for you to vent out your emotions. I have seen when mothers face stressful relationships at home or work, it instantly reflects in their behaviour with their child. Keep the nagging mother in law or a demanding boss out of your relationship with your child. They should not be used to settle scores with your spouse in case of marital strife.
- If there is a new born baby in the house then everyone in the family starts treating the older child as the big brother or sister.
It’s a very sensitive phase for older child as he is learning to share the attention and love of his parents with a younger sibling. Children display unusual emotions in this acceptance phase and they should be showered with extra love and care. It’s not correct to expect sudden maturity from older child.
- Your child is going to be your reflection. So, be what you want him to be. You are under a 24*7*lifetime scanner. Your anger, frustration and choice of words are going to boomerang in one form or another sooner or later.
- Please do not use television or phones as baby sitters for your child. You are unconsciously wrecking havoc to his psyche that will show its effects in the long run. Give him a book, a board game or a magazine instead. None of us want lazy couch potatoes with dull minds and plump bodies.
- We are so quick to reprimand our children or point out their mistakes, good behaviour always demands an appreciation. A high five or thumbs up expression is enough to pep up their spirits. But appreciation should be honest. Don’t go overboard in appreciating them for something they don’t deserve. At the same time, do not reprimand for every small mistake. A child will behave like a child after all. Learn to let go at times.
Every mother is an alpha woman who can move mountains or reach for the stars for her child. These are simple and easily achievable pointers for all Angel Moms. If you feel there are some other common mistakes which we commit then add to the list in the comment box below, I would love to know your thoughts.